Mary Lee Ryan-Kalbow, age 84, passed away peacefully on March 22nd, 2026, leaving behind a lifetime of love, devotion, and treasured memories. Born February 9th, 1942, in Marshalltown, Iowa, to Emmett and Mildred Ryan, Mary lived a life rooted in family, kindness, humor, and community spirit.

From a young age, Mary’s joyful spirit was unmistakable. As a little girl, she would walk to the veterans home to go fishing, showing her independence and love of simple joys. She also adored animals from the very beginning, especially her childhood dog, Skeeter. He would faithfully meet her at school each day and would slide down the playground slide with the children, an endearing sight memorable enough to appear in the community newspaper. Her love for both dogs and cats would continue throughout her life.

At just five years old, Mary made her singing debut with “I’m a Little Teapot,” hinting early at her love for music and performance. Throughout her school years, she continued to shine. She was active in both community theatre and high school theatre productions, and she participated in Glee Club throughout her school years. She was also involved in Pep Club (school spirit) and served as an usher for high school sporting events. In addition, she worked as a counselor at summer camp, where her warmth and enthusiasm made her a natural leader.

Mary was also an exceptional dancer and loved competing in dance competitions with her partner. Everyone who saw her always said, “Wow, that girl can dance!”

Mary attended Liscomb Consolidated School during her early childhood before later enrolling at St. Mary’s Catholic School in Marshalltown. She went on to graduate from Marshalltown High School in 1961.

After graduation, she briefly attended beauty school in Des Moines but soon realized it was not the path meant for her. She then moved to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where she worked and formed lasting friendships, including one with Suzy Ryan, who would later become her sister-in-law.

Mary eventually returned to Marshalltown, where fate brought her together with Marvin Kalbow in 1962 through an unexpected introduction. Marv was a crew member on a Naval aircraft stationed out of Patuxent River Naval Air Station in Maryland. During an unusual flight to Waterloo, Iowa, Marv’s Navy friend, who knew Mary from high school, introduced the two. That moment sparked a love that would last a lifetime.

Shortly after meeting, Marv was stationed at Atsugi Naval Air Station in Japan. Missing Mary deeply, he proposed by mail, sending a heartfelt letter and engagement ring across the miles in what became their treasured “mailbox proposal.” Mary was overjoyed! The two were married on January 9th, 1965, at St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Marshalltown, beginning a marriage defined by love, teamwork, sacrifice, and humor.

In 2015, Marv and Mary returned to the very church where they were married, to renew their vows in celebration of their 50th wedding anniversary.

Following their wedding, Mary and Marv moved to Anoka, Minnesota, where Marv accepted a position at Federal Cartridge. With their 1958 Chevrolet Impala, just $50 to their name, and a car payment looming, they courageously began their life together. Their first home was at 1015 Washington Avenue in Anoka, followed by 810 Main Street about a year later. Mary established residency for a year, before joining Marv, working at Federal Cartridge.

In 1967, they took another leap of faith and built a home in Andover, Minnesota, on land where Marv’s family once baled hay. While their home was being built, they lived in the basement, often dining on canned beans and hot dogs, steadfastly building their future together. It was a testament to their perseverance, partnership, and belief in what lay ahead.

Their greatest joy came with the birth of their daughters: Melanie, born in December 1969, and Mandy, born in August 1975. Mary was a devoted and deeply involved mother, pouring her heart into every stage of her daughters’ lives. She was always present for their many activities and endeavors, spending countless hours volunteering, supporting, and cheering them on.

Mary’s generosity extended well beyond her family. She was deeply involved in her community, founding the Teen Organizing Group Activities (TOGA) at St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Oak Grove, serving on the board of the Soderville Athletic Association, and proudly coaching both of her daughters’ softball teams. Many evenings were spent at the ballfield, followed by celebratory trips to Dairy Queen.

Mary had a special gift for bringing people together, especially teenagers. She loved hosting teen gatherings, and it was not uncommon to have 40+ teenagers filling the house with laughter. She thoughtfully created games for these gatherings and even developed an idea called “Teen Party Planners,” recording an audio cassette filled with party games intended for sale. One fan favorite, “Ogum Boogum,” became legendary among those who played it.

Family remained at the center of Mary’s life. She cherished trips to Shreveport, Louisiana, visiting her brother Larry Ryan and his family, as well as time spent with her parents at their lake home. These trips were filled with laughter, love, and meaningful traditions.

In 1997, Mary was diagnosed with larynx cancer and underwent removal of her voice box, requiring her to speak using an electronic voice. Rather than allowing this challenge to define her, Mary saw it as a calling, believing God had given her more time for a reason.

She began speaking at schools throughout the Twin Cities, sharing her powerful story, and educating students on the dangers of smoking. Her message reached far beyond the classroom; many children later wrote to her, sharing that loved ones quit smoking after hearing Mary’s story. Through this work, Mary truly saved lives.

Mary shared another beloved pastime with her mother Mildred, visiting the casino. She absolutely loved casino outings, and she and Marv often planned trips around casino destinations. Mary was an incredibly lucky lady, with Tuesdays being her favorite and luckiest day. She especially enjoyed trips to Little Six Casino, where many happy memories were made.

Mary was also blessed to be present for her grandchildren’s many events, and they were one of her greatest joys. Just as she had done for her daughters, Mary spent countless hours traveling to support them in their activities, which included wrestling, football, track, cross country, basketball, baseball, choir, soccer, cheerleading, plays, pageants, and parades.

Mary also began drafting a book about her experience as a laryngectomee, hoping to help others facing similar challenges. Though she was unable to complete it, her courage, words, and example continue to inspire.

Mary was blessed to know and love her four great-grandchildren, and she took immense joy in watching her family grow. She will continue to watch over all of us until we meet again.

Mary is survived by her loving husband Marv Kalbow of Andover, MN; daughters Melanie (Todd) Norton of St. Michael, MN and Mandy (Chad) Splettstoesser of Albertville, MN; grandchildren Ryan Norton, Brett (Yana) Norton, CJ Splettstoesser, and Becca Norton; great grandchildren Isaac, Grayson, Max, and Adeline; her brother Larry Ryan; and many beloved nieces and nephews. She was preceded in death by her parents, Emmett and Mildred Ryan, and many dear family and friends.

Mary Lee Ryan-Kalbow will be remembered for her enduring love, selflessness, humor, faith, and resilience. Her legacy lives on in the family she built, the community she served, and the lives she touched simply by being who she was, “a nut”! She poured love into everyone around her, and that love continues to echo through all who were blessed to know her.